I had several situations this week that made me think…..are we truly listening to the person who is talking with us on the phone or who is talking with you right in front of you?

With our busy life and work we all try to multi task and sometimes we forget to focus on what is important right at this moment.

Have you ever had the situation that you where talking to a person, maybe at a meeting, and they checked their phone for messages during you conversation with them and not even ten minutes later they asked a question that you had covered with them not even ten minutes ago?

Were you ever in a restaurant ordering food and the server wrote down your order but had side conversations while taking your order and as you received your order, it was not correct?

Have you ever received a message that someone else took for you while you were out and as you followed up with the message it was not about what the messenger told you it was?

Things like this happen more and more often. We try to do too many things at once and this might be the culprit. The more we try to do at once, the less we accomplish and ultimately create re-work for ourselves and others.

Here are some ideas to help assure that the person you are talking with understands and has listened to you.

On the phone:

• Ask them open ended questions about what you just presented.
• Ask the person to paraphrase the information you just told them.
• Find out if they are in their car talking with you. If they are, reschedule the conversation for a time when they are not driving and don’t have any distractions. Cell services in some areas is not 100% and important parts of a conversation could be missed.
• Send an email with all of the discussion points and ask them if there are any more questions about the task at hand.  Ask open ended questions to make certain the message you conveyed was understood.
• If they put you on hold during your phone conversation due to other priorities, reschedule the conversation for another time when they can give you their undivided attention.

When it is a face to face meeting;

If they are distracted by the phone ask them hold their call so there will be no distractions.

• Do not sit behind the desk. Use a more casual conversation style.

When it was an email message that was taken for you

• Ask to have the original email forwarded to you.
• When something is unclear contact the original sender to clarify.

Politeness is the art of choosing among one’s real thoughts.  ~Abel Stevens